Many executives go in the front door and out the back of a prospective employer in next to no time, due in part to their lack of negotiating skills. Getting the right executive package means putting time and thought into a pre-acceptance process.

Dana was considered the perfect candidate for vice president of client services. The company had interviewed more than two dozen execs and felt she was the right fit for the job. Both client and candidate were happy they'd found a good match. The company offered Dana the exact salary she said she wanted during the interview process. When the offer was put on the table she countered with a demand for $15,000 more plus a start date that was a month and a half later than what had been originally talked about. Without discussion, the company pulled the offer. Dana's actions said to them that she was not as enthusiastic about joining the company as she first appeared. They thought she didn't really want the job, that perhaps they had evaluated her incorrectly and would prefer to find someone else.

The moral here is simple: Be careful of what you ask for — you may get it!

But more importantly, you really need to do some soul searching and number crunching to be clear about what you hope for and what you can live with. Before any negotiating begins, you need to discern what is acceptable to you, what is important and what is a potential deal-breaker. Once you have your priorities set, you can negotiate over one or two of your most important needs.

For some people the right title really matters. Some executives feel they can't get respect without a VP in front of their name. Paul was offered a position as director of new business for a large public company. Although the money was acceptable, his ego couldn't handle not having the vice president title. He chose to pass on the position.

In fact, for Paul, that was the right decision. There is nothing worse than accepting a job and not being happy and enthusiastic about every aspect. Some people jump at an offer only because they're so miserable in their current environment — until they realize they've compromised something that's important to them. When they walk in the door without feeling the excitement of a new beginning, they're setting themselves up for an unhappy position.

Generally, if you haven't gone through a pre-acceptance process — really discerning what you want and what you're willing to do without — you run the risk of taking a job that puts a bad taste in your mouth. That's a career buster formula.

There are some important qualifications to pre-acceptance. There's a difference between acceptance of a compromise and resignation. Acceptance means a wholehearted willingness with no strings attached. Resignation carries resentment and a lot of negative baggage with it.

Another factor for some people is a relocation package. The hard truth in today's economy is that job offers aren't as robust as they used to be. They are considerably scaled down, and often a flat sum is provided to help cover moving costs. You need to think through how important this is to you in the overall picture.

The ability to work remotely has become an attractive perk for commuting-weary employees. Today relatively few companies are willing to allow an employee to work from home, but there always are exceptions to the rule. If this is an important element of your package, you need to evaluate where it fits on your list of “must have” priorities.

Vacation time can be another point of negotiation. When executives move from a fairly long-term position, they usually have considerably more vacation allowance than may be offered in the new slot. The flexibility in negotiating this point depends on the job and the company's philosophy. Some firms feel if you do your work really well, they won't complain if you take more time off. Their main concern is all about performance. Others are willing to grant more vacation time in lieu of the higher salary you were requesting. Have you answered this pre-acceptance question? What can you live with (or without)?

There are other parts of the package that many people don't often consider. If you have been active in a local or national association, will you be given time out of the office to participate with expenses paid? If you are working on an MBA, will you get time off to continue your studies?

Questions about a company car and how those expenses are handled can be in play in the negotiation. Some companies offer a flat monthly business mileage reimbursement no matter how many miles are clocked in the month. You may want to understand this fine point about the new position.

Health insurance and other benefits are an important part of the compensation package. Companies today may have a 90-day waiting period before insurance coverage starts. As part of the negotiation you might discuss having the new employer pick up the Cobra payments from your last job until the new health insurance kicks in.

Stock options have had value historically but may not be as attractive in light of market volatility. Depending on your point of view, stock options would seem to have a much lower negotiation value now than they've had in the past. It may be a better idea to bargain over one of the other important perks.

Finally, there are some things you just can't factor into the compensation package equation. Rick went into a meeting his first day on the new job. He and another person were starting as regional sales managers reporting to the senior vice president of sales. It was at that time the firm's president informed them that the senior VP just quit.

So it's back to your pre-acceptance plan. Can you live happily with this or not? The choice, as always, is yours.

VICTORIA JAMES is president of Victoria James Executive Search Inc., Stamford, CT.

CONNIE LaMOTTA is president of LaMotta Strategic Communications Inc., Upper Nyack, NY.