These marketers are speaking about a unique business relationship they've developed with a business mentor. Many larger companies have formal mentoring programs. However, most mentors are colleagues and senior managers who play an informal role in your work life as adviser, supporter, tutor, sponsor and role model. The right mentor can help you find your footing in a new company, locate opportunities, meet key people and brainstorm solutions to the challenges you face.

Why do some people seem to get this nurturing and career-building support while others watch from the sidelines, feeling left out of the possibility of developing to their fullest potential?

Being agreeable to having a mentor actually begins with an inner attitude of self-respect and self-esteem. People who are capable of self-assessment are more likely to let their talents shine and to seek help in dealing with their shortcomings. This is true for the newcomer as well as the senior executive who has risen above the formal management development programs and requires highly focused development and support.

Businesspeople open to personal change and improvement maintain an attitude that allows them enough humility to ask for advice, enough courage to overcome the fear of rejection and enough of a willingness to sustain themselves when they let others see them at moments when they're less than perfect.

With those inner prerequisites in mind, anyone should be able to search for a mentor who is capable of offering support at any level of one's career.

First, you need to decide what type of help you consider useful.

• Do you need emotional support in a challenging situation?

• Do you need to learn about corporate politics?

• Are you trying to solve some complicated management or marketing problem?

• Have you admired someone's negotiating skills? Would you like some advice on a deal you are trying to close?

Once you determine your needs, then aim to find someone who can support each goal. Mentoring relationships often begin because of a particular need.

Be realistic about what any single mentor can do for you. Although such characteristics as race, gender, nationality and sexual orientation are significant aspects of your identity, they constitute only some of the qualities to consider when selecting a mentor. Someone who is different from you can contribute valuable insights. In fact, you may want two or three mentors for a variety of areas in your business life.

For the first meeting, you can seek the advice of someone you trust about a specific question you may have. “When approaching someone you'd like to develop a mentoring relationship with, take it slow. You wouldn't propose marriage on the first date, and you shouldn't ask someone to be your mentor up front,” advises Denise Kersten, reporter for The Daily Grind, a USA Today online publication.

Having thoughtfully established a mentoring relationship, you must maintain it in a professional manner.

• Meetings will be most productive when you accept responsibility for “running” the meeting. Your role is to raise the issues and questions while your mentor's role is to respond.

• For each meeting, be prepared with an agenda for discussion and prioritize your topics so you ask the most important questions first.

• Be honest. Be candid when talking about career issues, the difficulty you're having with someone, or your inkling to switch fields altogether.

• At the conclusion of the meeting, summarize any agreements that have been reached. Restate what you will be doing and what has been committed to be done for you.

• If your mentor is facing a work emergency, offer to reschedule the meeting, shorten it, or handle the matter over e-mail. Be flexible, but remain committed to getting what you need in a reasonable amount of time.

• Receive criticism of your work in a levelheaded way. If you disagree, demonstrate that you're willing to consider the mentor's point.

• Follow advice. Read the books or articles your mentor suggests, and follow up on any networking opportunities that have been set up for you.

• Be responsible. Update the mentor about your progress and struggles. Send thank-you notes to express appreciation. Don't wait for the mentor to follow up. You are responsible for maintaining this relationship.

Are you stalled in your career? It may be time to find a mentor. This relationship can be challenging to develop but rewarding. It can lead you on a stimulating journey of self-discovery and clear the path for significant advancement in the career of your dreams.

VICTORIA JAMES is president of Victoria James Executive Search Inc., Stamford, CT.

CONNIE LaMOTTA is president of LaMotta Strategic Communications Inc., Upper Nyack, NY.